A Christmas Story

There’s always a sliver of wonder that rides the wind and tingles spines at the tail end of the year. It carries with it a lightness, a sort of magic, an “anything-can-happen” atmosphere making this time the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas means a lot of things to people, and I suppose it changes over the years. For me, this year, it means loneliness and quiet emptiness. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful in spite of everything we went through this year. We made it. We did.

But there’s the aftermath of gratitude of survival and thanksgiving that you have to walk through. And mine has me feeling very alone. There’s just this gulf and space, and it’s there even with people around me. That’s where I’m at.

We’re a desperate lot, our generation. Together, yet alone. Connected, yet alone. Even in gatherings and communities. We’ve forgotten what it means to be there. And I relearned it this year with how God carried me. Presence is always the best answer. Here looks better when it’s in front of you, holding you, sticking around. And I’m circling back to this post series about the need to not be drive-by friends. God! You tipped me off early in the year and I didn’t get it until now. Oh boy!

Who’d have thought that the holidays can be a lonely time, even with people around you?

There’s a book concept God gave me early this year that I’ve been writing up for months and it’s about community. One line in particular stands out to me.

Community is just a fancy word for connected and depending on each other. Click To Tweet

Those words cut deep both ways – with the kind of friend I’ve been and how I hoped my friends would have loved on me. This year taught me it’s all a privilege and not a right. Everything in life, but especially friendships.

I’m just grateful that Dave and I are stronger together this Christmas. Like I said, I’d rather have two of us here, than nothing at all.

Back to feasting and listening to happier music than this 90’s Spotify playlist. Didn’t realize much of the music back then was either sad or angry. Lol. Hard pass.

Wishing you happier holidays,


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