Guest Posts Life

Beyond The Hurt By Mercy Mandela

A good morning to you folks!

Today, I have the pleasure of hosting Mercy Mandela who I talked about here briefly. She was the friend that urged me to be honest when talking about marriage to my soon-to-be married friends and it took a lot of guts! But she made it easier for me.

We’d while away time eating french fries and laughing sharing about love, God and our relationships. I liked her raw and honesty.

She’s wifey to a brilliant man and mama to the sweetest boy called King and she’s doing the holy work of serving as wife and mama as God expands their non-denominational worship ministry – One Desire (please check them out) that’s guaranteed to be a blessing to you.

Her website is a string of wisdom on life and godly living and she served us a goodie today picking up where Emz left us off last week.





To feel pain in a part of your body, or to injure someone or cause them pain. It can also be emotional pain.

Fortunately or unfortunately hurt is a part of life. No one likes it, but how we go through it determines the kind of people we become. Not long ago my friend and I hurt each other and we did not go through it too well as first but we have since reconciled and are continuing to grow our friendship. It was not the best experience and with it came wrong perceptions of each other and worse yet, I helped form a wrong perception of her to someone else. I am not proud of this but I share so as to help all of us learn from my experience. If for whatever reason your friend or any other person hurts you please take it upon yourself to reach out and resolve the issue.

The thing with hurt is that it comes with other things such as anger, unforgiveness, bitterness among other nasty emotions, wrong heart positions and perceptions if not dealt with.

A good example of this is Naomi. Her name meant pleasant but upon returning to Bethlehem after losing both her husband and sons, she asked her people to refer to her as Mara which means bitterness. You see the thing with unresolved hurt is that it can cause you to change the way you see yourself. Naomi did not deal with her pain but instead allowed it to define who she was.

Unfortunately, many of us are like her. We like to hold on to grudges. We feel entitled to “our” hurt. We won’t forgive unless the offender asks for forgiveness while yet we’re too proud to ask for forgiveness ourselves.

After a long while of being offended and holding on to the offense, I realized I was only hurting myself and denying both my friend and I the opportunity to grow a beautiful friendship. See this friendship is not just any kind of relationship. It’s a destiny kind of friendship that we almost lost because of holding on to the pain, to the hurt, to owning it. How I pray that we would learn to let go!

Beyond the pain and the hurt is freedom! So much liberty! So much life. If we choose to hold on to it we might just end up losing ourselves and missing out on the best life that we are meant to live.

My late grandpa was a bright, rich man but holding on to something made him live his sunset years on a wheel chair. You see, he was diabetic and at some point his toe got an infection. His doctor advised that he get the toe amputated but my grandpa could not imagine such a respected man as himself walking around without a toe so he refused. Years later the infection had gotten worse and to save his life the doctor recommended that his leg be amputated. This time, he knew better and obliged. If only he let go of the toe, he would still have his leg but it was too late. It was either his leg or his life.

I don’t know how many of us are holding on to “our” toes but I urge you today let go! It’s not worth it! Anger, bitterness, unforgiveness and the like will only make you miss out on life so choose life today.


Wow! Thank you for that Mercy.

Reconciliation is something God is really keen on the world over. If we want Him to use us, we need to be empty of our hurts and off the throne of our hearts so He can take His rightful place.

May we never be too proud to change our minds.

Mercy Mandela is a worshiper, a wife and a mother (add computer and IT expert to that) on a beautiful journey to become. She loves me time (and cuddle time with her son King) but also enjoys hanging out with friends, having good food and being out in the wild because nature is too amazing.

You can find her on quiet days on her blog sharing wisdom for living on tap or sneaking in extra time for King kisses because oh God! They grow up so fast!

Find her on her website and keep up with One Desire ministry here

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