The Agony Of An Untold Story

“Write it. Just write it. Scribble on napkins at lunch with friends. Type on your phone or borrow computers if you have to. Fill notebooks with ink. Write inside your head while you’re in traffic. Write the truth, write lies. Write your dreams. Write your nightmares. Write while you cry about what you’re writing, write while you laugh out loud at your own words. Write until your fingers hurt, then keep writing more.

Don’t ever stop writing. Don’t ever give up on your story, no matter what “they” say. Don’t ever let anybody take away your voice. You have something to say, your soul has a story to tell. Write it. There is never any reason to be afraid. Just write it and then put it out there for the world. Shove it up a flag pole and see who salutes it. Somebody will say it’s crap. So what? Somebody else will love it. And that’s what writing’s about. Love. Love of the art, love of the story, and love for and from the people who really understand your work. Nobody else matters. Love yourself. Love your work. Be brave. Just write.”

― Melodie Ramone

I secretly wanted to be a poet. As a child, I had volumes of poetry that my mother stumbled upon and wanted to publish when I was 11 but instead of a yes, I said no a bit miffed that she had gone through my stuff and read my personal thoughts.

In high school, I’d spent class prep in the library immersing myself in the world of Lord Tennyson and Robert Frost. They were my heroes and I loved how my heart would dance to the rhythm of their poetry.

The world of poetry, the world of words and spinning galaxies with every sentence was magical to me. Click To Tweet

Some days, I wonder how my life would have turned out had I said yes back then to my mother. Would I have had a book every year or every 2 years?

Why was I so afraid?

Because I was. I was afraid I wasn’t any good and wanted to become great at it so that the first book I’d publish would be killer. I got really good at it and in 2012, while visiting my mother in Ghana, I started scribbling a few poems for that legendary ‘first book’. I still have them, but they’re not in a book.

Fast forward to 2014 when I realized that Advertising wasn’t for me and I also had the wonderful idea that perhaps corporate life wasn’t for me. I quit with the secret thought that I’d leave employment to write my first book.

It started out well, even got a friend to work on the cover, and then I froze.

What was I thinking?

God saw this writer meltdown and sent someone with a timely word about me and the book and for some reason, that launched me into an even bigger panic.

“Go deeper? I’m not even sure what I should write about. Oh God!”

I went through every reason listing why doing so was a bad idea and even convinced myself with that 11 year old lie.

“Just get better at writing, then write.”

And then I picked it back up in 2016 and went up to chapter 11 of what honestly is a sort-of-memoir but not 1st book material. At that realization, it felt like I wasted time so I pushed pause again and told myself I needed to get this writing thing on lock before I start.

I wanted perfect. I wanted to silence naysayers (especially the ones in my head that live with me). Most important of all, I didn’t want to disappoint God.

Coz you know, what if the book ends up being blasé? Will He still tell me He’s proud of me and mean it?

I had so many questions.

We’re 6 years into this (or 4 years depending on how you’d like to look at it) and I’m back at it again.

I’ve refined the idea, distilled it and bottled it and I think the path is clearer now.

I know exactly what to write about. If we’ve talked about it before, you’ll realize that the idea is still the same, but I finally get my why. I finally get my insight and strategy. It’s the same thing but clearer. More purposeful.

And in a way, all the years half starting, wondering and being unsure of myself aren’t wasted. They’re perfect! Every detour, every time I pushed pause and disqualified myself, it’s all brilliantly fitting together!

I thought to share that with you.

Learning that there are no wasted seasons. Not a one.

Everything is a harvest whether it’s on time or delayed.

I’m writing a book guys. The first of many like I said in my first post on the website.

Will share updates much later in the year but I’m beyond excited to get this lump in my throat on paper!


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