Guest Posts Life

Notes To My Generation by Victor Ngocih

Guys, Ngocih made it here! Now, Ngocih is many things to many people (all good – a father, a poet, a rapper, a boyfriend…) Some call him an over-complementer. As one who’s pretty much the same, I say we need more encouragers in the kingdom so I appreciate that quality about him that he carries so genuinely. In the same way shrinks need other shrinks in their lives or even pastors need other pastors, I know encouragers could use other encouragers in theirs too. They tend to run on empty. I digress.

How I have been most blessed by Ngocih (pronounced N-go-she) is that he was the first person God used to confirm that I should write the book I had started but kept chickening out on. That’s a whole story in itself. But God whispered it to him when it was a secret I hid in my heart and he pretty much let the light in. It was on a Thursday a few years back on a day when I was quitting the whole thing. And God sent word not to. That encouraged me. And wouldn’t you guess it, God said something about my generation concerning the book.

And Ngocih is here with words for us too – a generation stuck between the ellipses of a country that’s in breach. There’s so much shifting and even more that needs to shift in our country and the baby just won’t turn! It’s exhausting for Kenya and for the generation and purposes waiting to be revealed.

I’ve said too much but Ngocih is clearly a blessing to be around and a joy bringer and I’d love for you to glean as much as you can from him about our country. Think deeper about it, but also make shifts in your life about the same.

Take it away Ngocih!

***

While following the World Cup, which I assume majority of us were up to considering we posted more about it than the just finished appropriation of the National Budget in June, I noticed something. There was a running joke about how Egypt, Tunisia and Morocco are not African so even if they lost, it wouldn’t be Africa’s loss.

Well, the reality is, the innuendo of those jokes carries the weight of the same issue ailing Kenya. It’s a very dangerous undertone. Whenever there’s anything wrong in Kenya, which is mostly what our media reports, we are quick to say how we aren’t proud to be Kenyan and how Kenya is a mess.

The same mouth and fingers will be quick to take to social media to post the Kenyan flag and express personal pride when Kenya performs well in athletics or any other sport (read, Rugby 7s).

Who are we kidding guys? Why is Kenya our pride only when there’s something good but when something’s wrong we don’t skip a beat disassociating ourselves from it?

Well, I don’t even blame most of us because we were raised by parents who could only celebrate us when we passed our exams. On the flip side, when we had bad report cards, we would be treated as burdens before the final blow that ran with the one liner our parents’ quickly turned to. You know the one.

“Why can’t you pass like your sister/brother or your friend Peter/Esther?”

Yeah. I’m sure we’ve heard it all before.

It’s sad that we have an inherent culture that doesn’t know how to deal with loss, defeat and the systemic issues therein.

“Blame comes from the belief that when we fail, we deserve to be punished. Therefore, we try to avoid punishment by assigning the blame to someone else.”

– Danny Silk

Let’s be honest guys, saying you’re not Kenyan doesn’t stop you from being one. Sounds obvious, but it’s true. We need to be intentional in accepting ourselves as Kenyans and taking pride in our nation for what it is (we’re not where we began) and most importantly, for what it can be. This pride and love will cause us to stop dealing with issues in Kenya subjectively but rather objectively seeking not to destroy but rebuild our nation.

We have to be honest with ourselves individually and accept that the issues facing Kenya are our responsibility. The reason why we’re quick to disassociate ourselves from our country during the bad times is because the issues are a reflection of our collective and individual failures.

We are afraid that rebuilding our nation takes time, pain, sweat and tears and most of us aren't ready to pay the price. We don't want the dirt that comes with rebuilding this nation and we fear we can't do so without destroying each other. Click To Tweet

I think we hate losses because we were never taught how to handle failure. We take failure with finality hence why it’s easy to blame than to accept losses as a part of life.

To separate ourselves through blaming others is a desperate act of self-preservation that seeks to add to the issues we’re already facing as a nation. Mark you, my saying this does not sanitize the government from its failures. It’s for us to acknowledge that as we point the fingers out there, we need to also point them back at us. I’m sounding the alarm to each of us as Kenyans to realize that we need to get our act together and stop pointing fingers at others before we deal with our individuals issues.

A wise king, the wisest that ever lived, called Solomon once said:

“For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again.”

So here comes the bombshell – its okay to fail. It’s okay to make mistakes. I draw the line by saying it’s not okay to remain at the place of our individual mistakes and blame others for the same. Pick yourself up. Own up to your mistakes and you’ll realize it’s easier to deal with the issues arising in our country.

“Even if I lose, I will never worship at the shrine of my mistakes.”

– Armond

I look forward to a time where keeping the government accountable will not be an excuse for us to remain in the same place of complacency. It’s one thing to pick ourselves up from the pool of water and another to remain in the water and blame it for our drowning.

***

It always starts with us. Ngocih’s post reminded me of this quote.

“But if these years have taught me anything it is this: you can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in.”

― Junot Díaz

I guess all that’s remaining is doing the hard work of looking within. Thanks Ngocih!

Ngocih Victor is a Team Building Facilitator, Poet and Writer. He is currently focusing on character development of pre-teens and teens through Experiential Learning and works as a facilitator at Camp Winning Ways. As a communicator from Daystar University, he also engages in Public Speaking as well as sharing the Gospel. Ngocih spends his free time reading books, enjoying good music or good conversations and playing FIFA.

You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Soundcloud

  • Reply
    Andrew Rubia
    July 23, 2018 at 7:56 am

    Truth is a bitter pill to swallow but as every good medicine, it gets the job done.

    • Reply
      Koki
      July 23, 2018 at 5:59 pm

      Thank you for passing by and reading Andrew

  • Reply
    Namwano Shichende
    July 23, 2018 at 8:55 am

    My take out is in form of an agreement;
    “I think we hate losses because we were never taught how to handle failure. We take failure with finality hence why it’s easy to blame than to accept losses as a part of life.”

    This is a chalkboard piece. Well done Vic, keep speaking truth.

    • Reply
      Koki
      July 23, 2018 at 5:59 pm

      That stood out for me too. Thanks for passing by Namwano

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